Lately ....

Yes.... after almost 2 months of traveling non-stop here and there since I came back, I've had some real time to rest my tired body. I guess my Ba Zi really accurate saying that I've to travel here and there non-stop for my life. 

Time really fly by so quickly, when I first came back, JE was just crawling and now she's learning to walk and has been able to walk independently for 4 steps by herself. When holding her to sleep is the most amazing thing in the world, because one little life is holding me tightly to fall asleep. I felt very content no matter how tired I am. Hahah..., although i've told my sister I've surrender to those two monster. 

I'm still unsure if I want a life with kids or a life with career.... indecisive person at this point. 

外甥趣事 (Funny Nephew)

今天我在房间陪着昊正和净恩，妈妈在外头泡牛奶时，昊正突然对我说：
(I was accompanying HZ n JE in the bedroom while their mother is preparing the formula for HZ, HZ suddenly said:)

HZ: 姨姨，给我看你的屁股！ ( Yi Yi, let me see your butt )

TH：为什么要看我的屁股？ (Why you wanna see my butt?)

HZ：是啦。。。因为你屁股好看！( coz....your butt is nice to look at!)

TH： 我看你的屁股可以吗？(Can I see your butt?)

HZ：不可以，因为我的屁股不好看。哈哈哈哈。。。。

(Cannot, coz my butt is not nice..hahahaah!) 

我的妈呀！有时真的不知道要如何回答是好！

( My gosh, sometimes I really don't know how to answer his questions!)

A little Break

I'm glad that yesterday my Ting Tong Tiang come and find me. I really do need a little break from everything to keep my sanity.  It doesn't seemed that long when we last see each other back in February prior to my departure.  We really have a lot to talk about and can't stop yakking about alot of things. 

She finally realized how much afford that I have to put in daily to help my sister to care for the two little creatures. We both agreed that maybe kids are not for us at this moment. Although we love to play with them but taking care of them is another stories. Hahaha... really give me a reality check that I may not want kids at all. Now think of it, pregnancy and birth are not the scariest part, but taking care of your kids until they are independent are the most tedious things you have to do. 

Anyway, I really appreciate her visit and can't wait for another time where more of our gal pal can join and continues the conversations of our everyday life. 

Sick & Miserable

Ahhh....I knew when I woke up yesterday that I'm about to get sick as my throat felt abit tight. That's usually the first sign of me becoming sick.  I didn't think of it much and still keep on organizing the bedroom and unpack most of my boxes, shifting through more things that I might be able to get rid of, instead of piles of clothes, paperwork and documents that I hardly ever touch. 

Anyway, Jon and I had a pretty good day yesterday up till after dinner I suddenly felt cold and chilly even layer up with blankets. My nose became stuffed up and I get very congested... I know I'm getting something and will be miserable from then on.  Of course, my nose becoming runny, bodily fluids keeps on flowing out from the nose and it's very annoying.  I manage to go to sleep and woke up this morning feeling not much better but with a mild fever. I guess it's a good thing that I got sick now than later, scared of being quarantine by the government as they probably think I've contracted the H1N1 influenza. 

I've remember zCakes sent me an email indicating the differences between the different symptoms of the H1N1 flu and I don't think I'm that severe and I think I'm just catching a common colds due to weather and the environmental changes that I have to deal with since I moved.  Although, I felt like a zombie, just laying on the bed, thank goodness there's internet that I can used at my own pleasure.  Just hope that this stupid virus will subside in a couple days and my immune system will be a tad bit stronger. 

Almost there

The reality finally sinks in when the apartment that I lived in is emptying up day by day.  Jon is selling most of our furniture and the apartment looks so bland and unorganized these days. I don't have a good feeling about it because everyone that knows me, know that I like things to be organized and in an orderly fashioned. I just can't stand things pile up everywhere.  I can't believed that I have been in one apartment for two years, that's the longest I've lived in one place since I moved to New York 4 years ago. WOW!! Time really does fly by..... 

I guess I just have to sit tight and deal with al this mess till we settle down in our new place WHO knows when and where we will be ended up after all this complicated life that Jon and I will be living separately for a long period of time. Although I know I'm not so much of a long distance relationship kind of gal, but I hope we can go through this tough times together.  Hopefully things will turn out for the better. 

Becoming Helium Writer

I've actively searching for a way to improving my writing skills and working my way into the journalism world as I have a dream of becoming a food/health writer for magazines.  So, I have recently stumbled upon this website called Helium that allows writer to freelance their work and get paid if their articles get picked to be publish, or entering writing contest to compete for cash prize.  

It's a good way for me to actively researching for the latest topics that interest me and also sharing my knowledge and letting the community to critics my work and help me become better at journalism.  I've been writing about one article per day since the begining of the week as I was almost done with my work.  I was really happy to see that two of my many articles got ranked #1 rated by the Helium members.  I was thrilled although I wish all of my articles get higher ranking but there's a lot of great writers in the community that I can learn from by reading how the write and structure the article. 

So, whoever interesting in sharing their knowledge and expertise on something else. Try it and best thing was there's nothing to lose but someting to gain !! 

Man Vs Food

I've been watching this travel channel show called "Man Vs. Food" and this traveling chef is OUT OF HIS MIND.  His name is Adam and he travelled all across America and looking for the perfect pig out area and also take on some of the craziest food challenge along the way. 

Since today I'm all alone at the house while Jon and the boys went to watch G.I Joe, which I'm not interested in watching.  I turned on the TV and watched what's the location for this episode challenge.  He's in TEXAS...yeeeehaw!!  There's this restaurant that serve "Burger from HELL" and everybody loved it as it's addictive.  That's just a regular 8oz burger topped with grilled Jalapeno pepper, with Habanero sauce and also cayenne pepper sauce. Talking about Hot HOT HOT!!!  He then took on a challenge on finishing a meal consist of a salad, baked potato, dinner roll and a 72oz steaks. You've got that right....it's 4 1/2 POUNDS worth of BEEF that he'll be eating to win the contest if he's able to finish the entire meal under 1 hour.  OMG @_@ 

I'm sure by the time he finished the show, his stomach will be stretch to its maximum, which is not good in long run. Just can't believe that people would actually do that.  Spirits of AMERICA i guess, everything has to be BIG and BOLD! 

Dreaming of You

It's been so long since I last saw you, I gave you a hug and you gave me a present before we said our goodbyes.  No one has ever heard from you again.  It is true that alot of us have missed you and wondering your where about.  I've never had a dream about you but all of a sudden last night I dreamed of you.  Maybe because me and my gal pals were discussing about you and subconsciously you've surfaced into my mind again. 

The dream took placed in our high school, but it's sort of like a high school reunion as most of our schoolmates are there, dressed in formal attire and just mingling and catching up with each other. I was as usual, avoiding the large crowd...trying to find a peace and quiet corner where I can chat with my girls.  Then, I saw you...walking towards us and you look good as I remembered. You requested to talk to me alone.  We walked to the staircase and sit there and You said:" I'm doing fine now! Don't you guys worry about me. "  Then, I woke up.  I wish I can continue the dream where I have so many questions to ask but I know that's just a dream and it will never be true. It's all just my wishful thinking. 

Where ever you are now, I really hope you are a better person. We've all miss you, my dear friend. 

Drunk and Dial

This morning at about 2am I received a phone call from Jon as he was driving back from his friend's house and I know there's something peculiar as he was yapping a lot more than he used to and I insist that he was drunk but he said no as he only has a couple of beer.  Alrigth I said, and he kept going on and on about his night with his best friend that he used to grow up with - Mike.  They haven't seen each other for more than 2 yrs since we moved down to Virginia. 

Well, lucky it's only a short drive back to his parents house and he started saying stuff that cracks me up. Such as: I wanted you to meet Mike, and you know, when we get married, he's going to be my bestman.... yadda yadda yadda....!!" Then I told him: "Jon, you are quite CHARMING today but you are drunk aren't you!!" and he said: "Yes" and I was quite mad at his cause he drink and drive but he said he's been doing it since he's 16 and he's a better drive when he's drunk than sober.  OMG...what an excuse!  But, anyway, he was safely home and I just hope he didn't do that again, as that might jeopordize his career in the future. 

I just can't believe that he had a drunk and dial and I'm his victim of choice and listening to his sensitive sides, which is very FUNNY to me as he usually aren't as openly discussed his feelings to me. Hahah... I wonder, what will I do when I get drunk?? Oh, I remember I was once half drunk in a CNY party in 07' and I have a video of myself can't really articulate of a funny sentence backward!! Ashame... but memorable .... 

A week without Bu Bu

Even though Jon has just left Virginia 9 hours ago, I felt like our apartment is so empty without him. I started to miss him already!! I can't eve believed myself that I've said that :P Maybe I've so used to his accompaniment for the few weeks that I've been home. If you've wonder where he went, he's taking his Grandpa and Grandma up to New York to see their daughter - (Jon's mom). He's just so nice like that :)

Anyway, I am alone in the apartment. I have no one to talk to during the day time until my cyber date with gal pal around 9pm. Gosh, I really have no life since I don't have any friends in VA as all ya'll have known that I travel most of the time. It's going to be a very long week without my Bu Bu. Or, should I be enjoying myself with some quiet time, no nagging, no arguing and no fighting over who gets the remote control.

Men.... you can't stand them when they are next to you, but you can't live without them when they are away !! Women are really complicated creatures, nothing really will forever satisfied their neediness. I'm totally one of the craziest one out there :)

Working from Home

What's better than staying in your comfy clothes and rolling out of bed at whatever times you desire and walk to living room and start your work day?  I've never had the luxury of working from home till yesterday.  My first ever home assignment after almost 4 years in service for my company.  It felt good and I loved it.....so far....haha as it's only been the second day of starring at a big pile of paper work, data entering and recipes and menus that I have to work on. 

Now I really do understand why so many people don't like to go to work in an office because there's rules and regulation to be follow, annoying colleagues and bosses that will never understand what you really wants and just ask you to "GET IT DONE and DON'T BOTHER ME". 

I really wish that I can work from home all these times, never have to step foot in the hotel living condition unless it's a VACATION!! I will keep on updating my work progress and see if I really still like the job from home and maybe will start considering it as a career in the future!!  Oh boy, I guess I'm the type of person that needs challenges and exitement constantly to keep me from boredom at work.  Where can I find the perfect job?? Wonder again...... 

Webcam Conference

It's really good feeling when I finally get to have a web conference with my sister since the last one that was 4 months ago.  I get to see my lovely nephew and niece through MSN and it's just a lovely experience that we get to interact with each other and hear their voices.  I've heard a lot of stories about HZ being menace since his baby sister was born but he's just as adorable as I remembered before I left the KLIA 5 months prior. 

Babies grow up so fast and  now he can converse fluently and in long sentences and JE can now crawl and sit-up straight by herself.  My mom and sister purposely cut her hair just so it mimics mine when I was a little girl with the baby doll hair style. Funny part is she does look exactly like me :)  

I wish I can be home sooner and play with them everyday as my job :D 

Trichotillomania

Lately, I've been pulling my hair out from my scalp just because I don't like how the texture feel. I only pulled out the super thick, wavy and corse hair as it's really annoying when I run my finger through the hair. I've noticed I've pulled out quite a bit of hair for the past two weeks. I was worried so I started to search for some answer on the internet. Here's what I've found, I've suffered from a mental disorder called trichotillomania- a form of OCD. Oh My gosh... I really can't believed that I've this kind of psychotic behavior :P

Luckily it seemed like it's triggered by some sort of stress and after I've researched for all the information, I've stopped plucking my hair off from my scalp.... Phew~~ If not, I probably will have some bald spot here and there. Just love the free information from the internet!!!

Something New

It's just another day for me at work but good news is that the state still didn't stop by for their annual inspection for the facility yet :) I don't have much to do and have done all my stuff early and get to chit chat with the GM today.  I've learn a positive attitude towards the work day even though it might be stressful and you hate the job.  His philosophy was : 

Marvellous Monday 

Terrific Tuesday

Wonderful Wednesday

Tremendous Thursday

Fantastic Friday  

I found it very amusing and has lightened up my day at least for now until I'm sick of what I do again ;)  Tomorrow is yet another new day and from the schedule, I have no charting to do at all... wonder how I'm going to spend the 8 hrs at work? 

Remembering Michael Jackson

After a very productive day at work today and I was happy until I got into the hotel; turn on the TV to CNN channel and there it is... news that Michael Jackson dies?? But at that time CNN has not confirmed that yet but then about an hour later, multiple reports has confirmed he died after a sudden cardiac arrest in his LA home. This is very sad to me because I really like his music and especially his music videos. His creations has made lots of revolution to music industry.  Although that he's a weirdo but which geniuses are not weird in their own way? He definitely will be a legend forever loved by millions all over the world. His songs will forever transient for generations to come.

That's why I'm glad that I made the decision to move back home to spend some time with my family as I never know what would have or might have happened to my parents. They are aging and I haven't had much time to really be with them since I'm ten thousands miles away. Always cherish the loved one because no one knows what our life entails.

Infidelity

Infidelity is a violation of the mutually agreed-upon rules or boundaries of an intimate relationship, which constitutes a significant breach of faith or a betrayal of core shared values with which the integrity of the relationship is defined. In common use, it describes an act of unfaithfulness to one’s husband, wife, or lover, whether sexual or non-sexual in nature. 

I was just watching CNBC at the hotel and the theme was "Dirty Money". It's all about high end prostitution among the rich and the famous.  This is an private escort services provided by beauties to the high-end business man, rich and the famous.  It's very popular service because there's no string attach and just strictly business.  The women responsible to dine, shop, listen and "service" their customer to their needs.  Whatever the customer request, that's what the women will provide.  Then the customer will rate their appearance and performance on the website to bring in more customer in the future.  

Then later, there's a breaking news about South Carolina Senator admitting having an affair with a Argentinian women.  Why are all men are so tempted to cheat to their wives? What happened to the vows that they have sworned during their matrimony to be faithful? There's so many marriage ended up in divorce these days and makes me so fearful of marriage and life long commitment. 

Relationship is hard to maintain and requires a lot of work from both party to manage. My mom always said that marriage is the new beginning of real relationship.  Loving doesn't end there as many assumed after marriage you don't have to work as hard to keep the fire going since love has become commitment and companionship.  Couple has to remember to spice things up here and there to remind thyself what it is like to be loved and appreciated to prevend infidelity from each partner. 

三从四德？

近这几天我都在看TVB 连续剧，里面时常提到三从四德教育古代的女性们。我很庆幸自己出生在新新时代，不然的活我一定被定为轻佻浮躁的女性。哈哈。。。我真要谢谢女性改革，要求平等。三从四德呢是古代为提高社会道德水平，稳定社会及家庭关系，提高了人们的素质修养。（小女本身就觉得是大男人主义为本，怕女性高攀吧！）

所谓的“三从”，是指：未嫁从父，既嫁从夫，夫死从子。意思是说女孩子在未出嫁之前要听从家长的教诲，不要胡乱地反驳长辈的训导，因为长辈们的社会见识丰富，有根本性的指导意义；出嫁之后要礼从夫君，与丈夫一同持家执业、孝敬长辈、教育幼小；如果夫君不幸先己而去，就要坚持好自己的本分，想办法扶养小孩长大成人，并尊重自己子女的生活理念。这里的“从”并不是表面上的“跟从”之意，而是有工作性质的“从事”之本质。(《仪礼、丧服、子夏传》) 

所谓的“四德”是指：德、容、言、工，就是说做女子的，第一要紧是品德，能正身立本；然后是相貌（指出入要端庄稳重持礼，不要轻浮随便，）、言语（指与人交谈要会随意附义，能理解别人所言，并知道自己该言与不该言的语句）和治家之道（治家之道包括相夫教子、尊老爱幼、勤俭节约等生活方面的细节）。(《周礼、天官、九嫔》)

这些都是以前的事的。。。在查询此内容时在中国网被我发现很爆笑的三从四德版本：

版本一：

新三从四德：太太出门要跟从，太太命令要服从，太太错了要盲从；太太化妆要等得，太太生日要记得，太太花钱要舍得，太太打骂要忍得。

版本二：

三从是：女人的话，男人要听从；女人逛街，男人要跟从；女人说谎话大话，男人要盲从。四德是：女朋友化妆要等的，女朋友花钱要舍得，女朋友生气要忍的，女朋友生日要记得。

作为新时代的男性，你们一定要谨记并恪守新三从四德！！ （我举脚赞成 ：D）

SuperNatural

When I came home on Tuesday, Jon had bought this three seasons of the series "Supernatural".  I've heard of this series from my sis-in-law Amy that the show is pretty good but I've never got a chance to follow the series until today when Jon insisted that I have to watch the first season with him.  Initially I have my doubts because it's about ghost, spirits and devil; I love those kind of stuff but since I travel to work all the time and I've stop watching or talking about stories involving spirits coz it will freak me out as I'm staying in the hotel alone ALL the time. 

After the first couple episodes I've sort of got into the series, it's pretty good and interesting.  The additional part is the two main characters are HOT too.  Hotness alert !! Wuuhooo ... That's what happened when I watch any show is looking for handsome looking actors that's in it.  Jon really can't stand me but oh well at least I'm watching it with him.  We watched the first two discs in one day and stayed up till 4am this morning.  Crazy couple !! 

Murder Case

What do you normally do when  there's nothing really else to do during your weekend out at an unfamiliarize area during work? 

Well, for me, I just sit in the hotel and browsing TV as I don't feel secure enough to be in this place that is popular with crime as I don't want to stumble on a bad neighborhood while I'm trying to go places or find something to do.  As usual, I finished up work early as there's nothing much for me to do anyway but adult sitting at work.  I came back to the hotel room and there's this marathon episodes of some real murder cases that's jaw dropping- at least for me it is.  The TV show is called 48hours: Hard Evidence.  There's this compelling case that caught my full attention.  1) Written in Blood

Written in Blood

A 911 called was made by a young guy - Sebastian Burns stating: " I think my friend's family is dead.  They..they are not breathing and there's blood all over the place".  Soon to find out that Atif Rafay's family (His dad, mom and austistic sister) were beatten to death with a baseball bat. The house was stage like it's been robbed but only a walkman and a VCR are missing.  Atify and Sebastian are best friend since high school in Canada.  They then becoming the main suspect of the murder when during the interogations Atif was questioned why he didn't help his badly wounded sister while she's trying to catch her breath - she soon died in the hospital.  Atif's answered was " I don't know,...and I don't remember"  Strange thing was both Atif and Sebastian vividly remembered what they've done all night prior to coming home to the murder scene.   FBI hired undercover cop to further investigate the cases and it's too long to explain what's going on in this twisted matter.  If anyone of you is interested, go to this link and read all the facts.  

http://www.rafayburnsappeal.com/facts.html

I personally think murder are very scary especially when you have the courage to murder all of your family member.  That's just inhuman!!  Whether they did it or not there's many unsolve murder cases out in the world that needs to be brought to justice.  That's why after watching that, I really don't dare going out alone in this strange vicinity. 

Adult Sitter

What's an adult sitter? Meaning babysitting adult at work telling them exactly what you want them to do just like you would for a 3 year old in a day care. But, this is at work.  That's probably is my job title for the past couple weeks of work at this annoying facility.  I know that I shouldn't be complaining because I should be happy as I have a job and not being layed off.  However, does work has to be like this? This is so unsatisfying and I have too teach the "COOK" to make Lamb Stew because she doesn't know how.  Seriously people, there's  a recipe and how hard can it be to follow step by step?  Sometimes I really don't understand how people work or survive without common sense and not using their brain to problem solve. 

For everyone that knows me, I have patience for a lot of things but when it come to no common sense thinking. IT AGGRIVATE ME !!!  That's why till now I still choose to travel for short assignment job instead of a permanent one cause everywhere I go, the really "special" people always work in the kitchen.  Uggghhh... I really can't wait for this month and next month to be over.  Making the decision to leave my job is the best feeling I've ever had for a long long time since I got back from M'sia in Feb.  

Like I said on my FB, I wish I can disappear for life and just do whatever I wanted to do without responsibility and be FREE !!

Becoming Ah Sei (阿四）

So, here I am again in the nursing home.  I wasn't sure what I will be doing and wondering why they have sent me back to this misery place.  It's already Wednesday and all I've done is cutting paper, answering phone calls, calculating cost for the food, buying lunch, clicking menus and bunch of useless and no-brainer stuff.  Me and my best pals online were just talking about it yesterday about how frustrated we were about our current job and we've spend so much money and time to study the major and ended up being an AH SEI (which means like a servant in Cantonese).  Seriously, why would they pay all my meals, mileage reimbursement and also hotel stay to just do a bunch of secretary work. My gosh, I went to school and have a degree that I CAN USE. But apparently my company really like to waste resources and have nothing better for me to do.  

Since I was so bored at work and I was browsing internal job website through my company and I went ahead and apply for a administrative assistant job for a SVP (Senior Vice President). I think I would be happier if I'm just a secretary and can just stop using my brain and be ditsy and stupid, sitting in the office, answering call and surfing the net.  LOL ..... I'm really so tired and bored with my career that the company has provided me so far!  I'm still yet to put in my resignation letter and can't wait to plan the next vacation with my gal pal to a place where we can find our soul again :D 

Gal Pal Time

Finally after almost a year not seeing each other, my gal pals in upstate new york asked me to get together at her house in Galway since I'm in need of baby therapy.  Lisa (my former manager) has two kids that I adore since they were born.  Anna and AJ are her kids and they are just funny and adorable as usual. 

We had such a good time together chatting and remeniscing about old itmes when we used to work together at Gloversville and the people that we work with now. When you put three women together and it's a chatter box all around and we just can't stop talking and without knowing it it's been 4 hours of talk time that flew by.  Love hanging out with them and it's really relaxing of not having to work for the week and just chill with friends.  I wanted to upload those pictures in facebook and the stupid website just kept on saying unable to loacte the server for uploading page...SO ANNOYING!! I've been trying to upload the pictures for two days now. 

Oh well, nevermind. Thankfully I have another place to showcase our picture...here in blogger :)

Road Trip....

So, it was Sunday yesterday; Jon and I decided to go up to New York today instead of waiting till Monday to spend an extra day with his family that I haven't been seeing since Last December. 

It's a long ride home to visit and it's about 8 hours drive. Similar to driving from Kuantan to Penang trip that I'm used to since toddler :) Jon drove most of the way but when it's my turn to drive it was the worst part of the trip because during the 3 hours that I drove, we have to drive through the construction of the highway all the way through Pennsylvania . Very annoying because instead of driving the speed limit of 65, during construction, I have to drive 45 . 

Anyway, I made it to the New York state line where we stopped and stretch our legs and Jon has to go to finish his nature business while I snatch this flyer :D

Also, another funny part was that during our road trip together I managed to snatch the picture below.  It's a car full with stickers at her back of the car. OMG, I can't believe how people actually will do this to their car but hey It's AMERICA, they can do whatever they wanted to.  As soon as Jon managed to go pass her, she also bedazzled the dashboard! Seriously, that women needs to grow up instead of decorating her car like a dollhouse.  Oh well, it's part of our entertainment for the whole trip !  

 

Hoping for a better week

So, after the entire week of unfortunate event that happened to me while I was at Roanoke for work; I've decided to cut my work week short from 10 days to 5 days.  Luckily, she's very understanding and everything I can do for her at the facility has been done and I've left very detail instruction on everything that she needed in a binder for her.  So, hopefuly she can do it on her own.  

Since it was my last day on Friday and we were just chatting in the office and getting the little things done while the facility administrator walked in and I was asking for the updates of my missing item.  He was just playing dumb and said: " Oh, I heard you are going out of the country and needed the money! ".... Erm...hello??? You didn't answer my question dude !!!  In addition, the director of security also promised that he will look into this matter. Alright, I waited patiently for 2 days for his answer.  Then, Kathy (my GM) told me that during her executive meeting with those big shots, she heard them saying there isn't a video to record the video surveillance that they have in the building.  Why didn't that surprise me ! Just a bunch of useless people.  

I was mad that my money was missing and my car got hit at the facility. But, what made me madder was that the Administrator and Security Director didn't even do their part to give me a definite answer and not even apologetic for what had happened to me.  This is what aggrivated me the most out of everything.  Seriously, people don't know how to treat people in the world these days!  One of the thing that I did to show my disappointment is that I wrote an e-mail to my director stating that I will not want to go back to this dump place unless it's absolutely necessary!!  No one make a comment about that so far :) 

So, I'm really hoping for a better week as I'll be taking the entire week off to go up to New York to spend some time with Jon family and see some of my old pals there and Jon & I will be stoping at Hershey for some SHOPPING THERAPY for me to let out my anger and frustration of my job lately.  Ciao~ 

Baby Withdrawal Syndrome

Every since I went home in December of 08' and stayed for about 2 1/2 months home, I've developed a mild condition called Baby Withdrawal Syndrome (BWS) -My own kind of diagnosis because I don't have any other better explainations of my behavior.  I was perfectly fine while I was home to spend time with my family, my two nieces and nephew.  However, when I returned back to the States and started my work traveling, I feel very empty and getting depressed more often than I used to.  Hence, I think I have BWS as when I get to talk to them online via webcam, I'll be happy for couple days then my depressive mood started again.  Just like a viscious cycle going up and down similar to any other withdrawal syndrome out there in the medical world. 

Just like today, I'm back to Roanoke, VA, dealing with a bunch of people with no common sense and brain in the kitchen. It gives me headache that I wanted to pull my brain out and I'm not just joking around.  So, when I come back to the hotel after a 1o hours work day I logged in to facebook and just re-watching all the clips of little Jovie that my sis in law has uploaded on her profile page. That's my "BABY THERAPY".  However, that's not enough yet and I bugged her online through skype and had her send me some new video to quench my thirst for some baby action.  Alot of people might think I'm crazy but I LOVE KIDS....all my family and close friends know that I might be a little bit obssessed with babies and little toddlers.  Who can really resist those cute innocent behavior?? Well, at least I do. 

I wish my job will involve with babies and kids all day minus the poop and all.... :D 

Pissed.....

Today is just one of those days that nothing goes right at all.  I don't think that I have a problem and seemed like all the problems come and find me all day long.  First of all, the project that the boss told me to do all the day before he just decided to change all those menu items and I have to re-do them all and printed out all the recipes accordingly.  GREAT GREAT GREAT !!! 

So, my stress level is sligthly elevated but it's manageable because I know I can handle it and do it at the time line I was given today.  But, then there's these 4 admissions to the facility and I have been given 3 of the diet slips to add my resident to the computer system and printing tickets. Unfortunately, it's just too late to notify the cooks to make extra meals for the dinner.  Now it's approaching 5pm and all thos CNA's and Nurses just came into the kitchen start yelling at us telling us we need extra 8 tickets and 8 resident were not getting their meal trays and then we have additional 4 guest tray we didn't even get notified on.  GRrrrrr... and my cook didn't have the best attitude towards them and I am the one that got yell at in the kitchen.  NICE JOB EVERYONE...blame the manager !! 

The worst part was I was being nice as I always be explaining to the RN(registered nurse) that I only got 3 notifications and she insisted that she send those to DIETARY department and it's our job to figure it out and said I was being rude to her. $#%@! .... sorry for my language but I'm really mad already to deal with a bunch of crazy crew member in the kitchen and now I'm being accused of being rude and don't know how to do my job! What the heck !!!! I don't even need to be here. I'm just here to help to straighten things out in this facility apparently you people dont' know how to do your job right. 

Then, I went and told my manager and the district manager what's going on in the kitchen.  The same RN walked into the office and was just talking to my manager (Kathy) and was telling her about some food preferences of the new admission that came in today, which were a husband and wife.  I only got one notification of a wife came in but didn't know about the husband.  I was just open my mouth and said: "Oh... I didn't know that the husband was an admission as well since I didn't see any slip in the office."  She just rolled her eyes and said:" I'm not dealing with ya'll people" and show me the hand !  RUDE and so unprofessional nurse I've ever seen in my life!  I'm really pissed at this point but I hold my tongue to stop myself from cursing at her.  I don't usually get mad that easy but someone is being so rude when I'm just trying to make things better in the kitchen.   

Gosh....I'm on fire all day till now I get a place where I can vent all my disappointment at the health care system where no one really cares about the residents/patient but themself.  I'm so glad that I'm leaving tomorrow but unfortunately I have to come back next week again to deal with them people again! 

Hey Shorty...It's MY B'Day

This 50cents song just keep on spinning in my head whenever someone's birthday is around the corner.  "Hey shorty, it's your birthday. We gonna party, coz it's your birthday !! " Hahah... and it's my birthday today and Jon always called me shorty; therefore I guess I can relate to this song pretty well.  ROTFL. 

Although I wish that I can have the weekend off to celebrate my birthday but unfortunately I have to work at Brandon Oaks of course even though I have to find things to do over there to keep me busy and occupied for those 8 working hours.  

I'm at the point where I don't really get too excited about birthday anymore. It's just an ordinary day and I can tell my life is getting boring by the minute. Wonder if there's anything else I can do to spice it up.  Responsibility really sucks but you gotta do what you need to be doing to live a comfortable life in the future.  

I should be happy because it's my birthday but I really couldn't perk myself up to really enjoy this special day.  

Love from Home

Finally, I have a little time to jot down some thoughts that I have been wanting to say for the pay two days.  Mother's Day call back to home was able to relieve some of my home sickness that I've been having lately.  I get to talk to my mama and my sista  to catch up on their latest.  It was already night time when I talked to them as I was trying to call them in the morning and apparently no one was at home and they have all went to KL and I'm the last to know and I wouldn't have thought in a million years that Public Mutual company would do a Financial Planning class on MOTHERS DAY!! How insensitive.... !! 

Anyway, it was about 10:30pm ish when I called and the little monster HZ was supposed to be asleep with my sister in the room.  Well, too bad he heard the phone rang and my mom was talking and he refuses to go back to sleep and want to yak on the phone as well.  Haha...what a cutie. However, the first thing he said was "Hello...Uncle Jon"...i'm sad...He's so used to pick up the phone and talk to Jon last time while I was home.  Felt like he's on default button to say that sentence.  Anyway, he knowed it was me and saying things that are so touching like I miss you, I love you, I want to give you the clown hot air balloon.  The most touching part was when he sing the entire happy birthday song to me... AWWWW....teary teary eye. 

A little love from home is what I needed a boost for the rest of the month for now. LOL.... Love you all :D

MAY 5th...Cinco De Mayo !!

It's Cinco De Mayo meaning 5th of May in spanish.  It's a nationwide celebrated day because everyone in this country just need another good excuse to party and drink themselves away at the club or bar! hahah

I personally like it because it's just the 5th of May.  5 is one of my favorite number and May is my favorite month.  Although there's still about 10 days till my actual birthday but unfortunately I just found out today that I have to WORK that day. Bummer....they suddenly change my schedule and I have to go to another place next week till May 20th :(  So, I will not be able to celebrate my B'day with my dear Jon but hopefully will be able to do some web conference with my cyberspace chat buddies.  

However, I think it's a good thing that I get to leave Hillcrest and continue my journey in another place.  Things are getting way out of hand in the nursing home.  Crazy and stressful.  So, hopefully going away for sometime will be a better trade off for me without celebrating my birthday. Gosh, i only hope !

To Love or Be Love

While driving home on Wednesday back to Virginia.... yet again, I have tons of time to waste in the car for 5 1/2hours.  There's this topic keep on flashing on my mind about love and relationship. Why? Because me and my girl friends were chatting away about this topic the night before about love, relationships, exes, heartbreak and much more on MSN messenger.  It's so much fun chatting with MY and WT all these nights while I'm at the hotel and they are at work.  

I'm always wondering myself all the time since I know about "LOVE".  I used to think that loving someone is to really put all yourself out there. Giving him all the love you've got and it doesn't matter if he appreciates it or not. You feel happy when you know you've found a guy that you can completely in love with and loving him unconditionally.  Ahhh....how stupid and naive i once was.  I ended up being hurt.  Because, as I grow older and wiser; I've realized that's not what I want.  Even though people have said that you shouldn't put the love on a scale and measure who loves who more but I've come to a conclusion that it's more fortunate to find someone that loves you more than you love him/her. 

Being love by someone it's a great feeling.  Pampered, being in the center of the attention and the most important thing is he's putting you first before himself.  That's the one thing that I've never gotten from my exes.  So, I'm considering myself very lucky to be loved now and I'm happy that there's someone that wants to make me feel happy when I'm with him.  I hope I can always be that lucky :) 

Yeah....it's time

Finally, it's been 9 days since I came to work at Hillcrest. I'll be heading back home to my apartment in Virginia.  Although the hotel's bed wasn't so bad at all but the bed at home is so much better especially when there's another one to cuddle with at night when i go to sleep. 

It's been quite some hectic days at work this time around.  Lots of changes had happened at work and I'm so so glad I don't work there permanently.  The stress level of all employees are through the roof.  No cellphone, No purse allow in the entire building....it's just some ridiculous policies that I've ever heard of since the new management company take over.  Food budget has been cut down to thrifty level and people expect the food quality to be good? Just a joke ! 

Well, at least my mood has gotten better since I know I get to drive home again tomorrow after only half day of work.  Four days little vacation is exactly what I needed to recoupe and recharge my energy for the upcoming week back into town on next Monday.  

Work to live or Live to Work?

Someday i really wonder, do I still love my job?  I used to love going to work and enjoy it very much.  But, lately I have realized that I dread going to work and sometimes don't even care about my work.  It's very sad to say I have lost my motivation for my job.  

I still remember that after about couple weeks into my first job, I layed out a big sigh ~~~ This really sucks if I have to work for 43 more years before I can retired. Seriously, is that how life goes?  Monday to Friday..... work for 40+ hours a week.  Only having the weekend to yourself. But, most of the time will be occupied with cleaning and sleeping.  It's a routine all over again every week.  Is this called LIFE? 

No wonder lots of people spend years and years in college and university just to avoid being out in the working society for too long.  I'm in search for another career move that I think I might like. Not many people really understand why I wanted to switch job when they pay me so well and I get all the perks that come with it.  Well, I gues sometimes money is not everything and I'm hoping that the decision I'm going to make is the right one! 

Tuesday = Meeting day??

Tuesday at work is full with meeting and more meetings.  Why we need meetings to talk about things that most people are not paying attention and it's really a waste of time where things can be done using those hours of time sitting by the table to just put a signature on the page. Worthless !! 

Based on dictionary: Meet-ing (Noun): an assembly or conference of persons for a specific purpose.  

Exactly, meeting for a purpose PEOPLE !!! Not waste of time. Really get me aggitated going at it.  I came to find out there's more meeting to be conducted for the upcoming week and more paperwork to fill out and of course MORE TIME TO WASTE instead of doing things that are more useful and meaningful.  

Do I still really like what i'm doing I wonder........

Monday on the Road ....

As usual, every other Monday, I will have to drag my butt off my comfortable bed to be awake at 7.30am to get ready for my 5 and 1/2 hours drive to Knoxville, TN for work.  

I always think what will I do in the car to spend my 5+ hours starring at the sky, vegetations and never ending road that I have to deal with until i reach my destination.  Switching the radio station every 5 minutes to search for a descent one that plays music that I like.  I think i've heard the song "Poker Face" from Lady Gaga and "HaLo" from beyonce like 4 times while I was driving. Seriously, they need to put those songs to rest, hopefully.  Besides listening to the repeating songs on the station, i also have lots of things flashing through my mind and wondering if average people spend that long of a time to think of stuff that needs to be done, stuff that should be done, things that might be happening..... etc.... Even Jon thinks i'm crazy. Well, maybe he already did :D  

Driving long hours on the road really give me lots of time to think about my past, present and future.  I can do a lot of reflection of myself and hoping things will get better for my life.  I have realized that life is short and i have to life it to the fullest.  I'm trying to do that from now on to just live my life the way I wanted to be.  Go places that I wanted to visit while I'm young.