To Love or Be Love

While driving home on Wednesday back to Virginia.... yet again, I have tons of time to waste in the car for 5 1/2hours.  There's this topic keep on flashing on my mind about love and relationship. Why? Because me and my girl friends were chatting away about this topic the night before about love, relationships, exes, heartbreak and much more on MSN messenger.  It's so much fun chatting with MY and WT all these nights while I'm at the hotel and they are at work.  

I'm always wondering myself all the time since I know about "LOVE".  I used to think that loving someone is to really put all yourself out there. Giving him all the love you've got and it doesn't matter if he appreciates it or not. You feel happy when you know you've found a guy that you can completely in love with and loving him unconditionally.  Ahhh....how stupid and naive i once was.  I ended up being hurt.  Because, as I grow older and wiser; I've realized that's not what I want.  Even though people have said that you shouldn't put the love on a scale and measure who loves who more but I've come to a conclusion that it's more fortunate to find someone that loves you more than you love him/her. 

Being love by someone it's a great feeling.  Pampered, being in the center of the attention and the most important thing is he's putting you first before himself.  That's the one thing that I've never gotten from my exes.  So, I'm considering myself very lucky to be loved now and I'm happy that there's someone that wants to make me feel happy when I'm with him.  I hope I can always be that lucky :) 

Yeah....it's time

Finally, it's been 9 days since I came to work at Hillcrest. I'll be heading back home to my apartment in Virginia.  Although the hotel's bed wasn't so bad at all but the bed at home is so much better especially when there's another one to cuddle with at night when i go to sleep. 

It's been quite some hectic days at work this time around.  Lots of changes had happened at work and I'm so so glad I don't work there permanently.  The stress level of all employees are through the roof.  No cellphone, No purse allow in the entire building....it's just some ridiculous policies that I've ever heard of since the new management company take over.  Food budget has been cut down to thrifty level and people expect the food quality to be good? Just a joke ! 

Well, at least my mood has gotten better since I know I get to drive home again tomorrow after only half day of work.  Four days little vacation is exactly what I needed to recoupe and recharge my energy for the upcoming week back into town on next Monday.  

Work to live or Live to Work?

Someday i really wonder, do I still love my job?  I used to love going to work and enjoy it very much.  But, lately I have realized that I dread going to work and sometimes don't even care about my work.  It's very sad to say I have lost my motivation for my job.  

I still remember that after about couple weeks into my first job, I layed out a big sigh ~~~ This really sucks if I have to work for 43 more years before I can retired. Seriously, is that how life goes?  Monday to Friday..... work for 40+ hours a week.  Only having the weekend to yourself. But, most of the time will be occupied with cleaning and sleeping.  It's a routine all over again every week.  Is this called LIFE? 

No wonder lots of people spend years and years in college and university just to avoid being out in the working society for too long.  I'm in search for another career move that I think I might like. Not many people really understand why I wanted to switch job when they pay me so well and I get all the perks that come with it.  Well, I gues sometimes money is not everything and I'm hoping that the decision I'm going to make is the right one! 

Tuesday = Meeting day??

Tuesday at work is full with meeting and more meetings.  Why we need meetings to talk about things that most people are not paying attention and it's really a waste of time where things can be done using those hours of time sitting by the table to just put a signature on the page. Worthless !! 

Based on dictionary: Meet-ing (Noun): an assembly or conference of persons for a specific purpose.  

Exactly, meeting for a purpose PEOPLE !!! Not waste of time. Really get me aggitated going at it.  I came to find out there's more meeting to be conducted for the upcoming week and more paperwork to fill out and of course MORE TIME TO WASTE instead of doing things that are more useful and meaningful.  

Do I still really like what i'm doing I wonder........

Monday on the Road ....

As usual, every other Monday, I will have to drag my butt off my comfortable bed to be awake at 7.30am to get ready for my 5 and 1/2 hours drive to Knoxville, TN for work.  

I always think what will I do in the car to spend my 5+ hours starring at the sky, vegetations and never ending road that I have to deal with until i reach my destination.  Switching the radio station every 5 minutes to search for a descent one that plays music that I like.  I think i've heard the song "Poker Face" from Lady Gaga and "HaLo" from beyonce like 4 times while I was driving. Seriously, they need to put those songs to rest, hopefully.  Besides listening to the repeating songs on the station, i also have lots of things flashing through my mind and wondering if average people spend that long of a time to think of stuff that needs to be done, stuff that should be done, things that might be happening..... etc.... Even Jon thinks i'm crazy. Well, maybe he already did :D  

Driving long hours on the road really give me lots of time to think about my past, present and future.  I can do a lot of reflection of myself and hoping things will get better for my life.  I have realized that life is short and i have to life it to the fullest.  I'm trying to do that from now on to just live my life the way I wanted to be.  Go places that I wanted to visit while I'm young.